My Neighbourhood- You know you won't want to stay here for long

Alright! Hello everyone! Today, I was thinking to myself "What should I write for my blog?" So on my way to the market (yes, I go market, I'm an auntie), I knew immediately what I could write. That is, I am going to write my own trilogy, on nothing else but my neighbourhood!!!!!!! So today I shall launch the part 1 of my trilogy- you know you won't want to stay here for long. Why? Haha, this is going to be interesting so stay tuned!

First, for those people who know me well, you know where I stay and I have been telling you guys a lot of stories related to my neighbourhood. So for those people who don’t know me well, I don’t mind telling you a bit about my neighbourhood first. Ok so this will not take long, maybe 3 pages. No, I’m kidding, I know I am very long winded (mic and sy must be laughing rite now!).

So here we start…

Basically, I live in Balam Rd, a very old estate in Aljunied. From what I know, very few people know where that is, except those taxi drivers. You tell them Aljunied zhaum lao (10 floor in hokkien) and they know. The reason why is because all the old old flats (3-rooms one) have 10 storeys so in the past they called it that way. Balam Rd is situated at one part of Circuit Road. Like what it’s name says, Circuit Rd is a circle with a one-way traffic and Balam Rd is located just opposite of that circle. Still don’t get it? See this diagram! Arrgh!

Ok so I have been staying there since I was born which is 20 years now. And I can tell you that nothing has been changed, except some 4-rooms flats being built, new markets, more old people and china men & women influx! Because my neighbourhood is an old estate (40yrs I think), everywhere is very dirty. It’s very with a capital V! So dirty that I feel paiseh when I invite my frens over, and my sis who is getting married in Dec, chooses not to get married off from our house, instead we are going to borrow my uncle’s house in Bishan. She cannot imagine her gown dragging on the floor and the lift with sputum and all those kaypo uncles and aunties looking! I think my mum will faint first lor if my sis get married off from my house! My mum, by the way, is a hygiene freak!

So from young, my mum didn’t allow my siblings and I to play at the playground. When we went out, we were supposed to wash out feet and hands when we reached home. Cannot wear long jeans, if wear long jeans must fold until the ends do not touch the floor. When we reached home, she would asked, “Did you step on shit? Did you see the sputum in the lift?” Why is she so exaggerating? Because my neighbourhood is really that dirty. So I am going to show you some pictures I take when I was on my way to the market. Well, mostly taken from my block cos my block is one of the dirtiest!

Warning: if you are eating or you have just eaten, don’t see the pics cos I can’t stand them too!

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Pic 1

This is taken outside the lift at my storey. This is only one corner. There is one more corner that is even more dirty. Oh man, I can't believe I show you guys something that will disgraced me! But nvm, I told my mum, when we have the money, we'll moved. Why is it that dirty? Cos i have a stupid fat ass neighbour on the other side of my house that are crazy. We have a rubbish chute (is that what they call it?) inside our house, unlike those new HDB flats where they have to take their rubbish bags out to throw. So since we are blessed with this thing, the more we should use it right? But that damn idiot family always choose to bring their rubbish bags out and throw it at this corner. My mum is so pissed off with them cos they always throw damn smelly and wet things there like prawn shells ah, n they dun bother to tie their bags well! Worst of all, that father of the family always spit at that corner. My mum is so angry that there was a period, she every morning stand outside our house at 8am and be on guard. Then one day when the uncle wanted to spit, my mum will shout "Oi" and I think that uncle swallowed his sputum down. HAHAHHAAHAHAH!

Ok that's not all! More to come...

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Pic 2

Look at this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wana puke man!!!!!!!!!!! Will I get sue or caught for showing disgusting thing on blog?? Nvm, see this? This is taken inside the lift. Again it is the corner! Whose the culprit? Those old humsup uncles!!!!!!!!!!! Very funny hor, at hm cannot spit, but take lift can spit! You know how many times my mum called the town council to complain? So many I cannot count! And who is the victim? A very nice and diligent cleaning uncle. He is the one who has to clean up aft these dirty fellows! This is not the worst le! I never take the pictures of the lift handles, lift buttons and the lift doors. You can find PISAI on the lift buttons, so my mum insists that we are not allowed to hold the door for anyone, and when we press our lift buttons, we use one finger. Just one! haha... and when we step into the lift, we stand in the centre. not near the edges cos that's y all the ESSENCE are, and no leaning against the wall, you nv know what you might get onto your shirt! Even when my relatives come visit us, they know my mum's rules to taking the lift.

There was even once we found shit in the lift! A whole dump right smack in the middle! Apparently, some drunkard decided to shit in the lift in the middle of the night and the poor newspaper man who was taking the lift in the morning has a PLEASANT surprise! haha

Ok now i'm stepping out of the lift on storey 1, that's what I see..........

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Pic 3

This is a pillar that leads to the letter box. See all shoe prints? Rmb, this pillar has been re-painted not too long ago, probably before CNY. Well, if you didn't know, 3-room flat is very popular with China people and Malaysians because the rent is cheap. And especially China people, they like to crowd together in one room so as to save on money. To save on transport, they ride bikes to work. BIKES IN THE SENSE OF BICYCLES! And because the waiting area outside the lift is small, so when they get out of the lift and moving to the spot above, they have little area for them to manoeuvre, so they are very smart to step on the newly painted wall and turn! Smart right! Cos it is not their house! Anyway, even if it's their house, they also wun care cos I think they will feel even more uncomfortable seeing that the place is clean.

So tell me, can I continue staying here for long? I dun think so lor. My storey used to be so peaceful and nice, until we get China people renting rooms from one of my neighbours. They smoke and spit when they walk past. As you know, my mum is not that easy to be bullied so whenever they do that, she complained to the tenant. Worst to worst, she caught them red-handed. These China people are so afraid of my mum, they see my mum, they politely smiled and say hello auntie. My mum is like a disciplinary mistress lor hahaa.

Oh ya, I forgot to add smth! Because of the Chinese influx, there are some things that I cannot tolerate! MY HOUSE IS ONE OF THE CLEANEST AND NICEST 3-ROOM FLAT IN BALAM RD. WE HAVE A PLEASANT AND COSY INTERIOR AND A GREEN CORRIDOR LINED WITH FLOWERS AND PLANTS.

But, these China People are destroying our peace man! Ok, my Chinese Neighbours are not so bad, I mean they are not rude, and I am not criticising their characters or wad but they should really look into their hygience.

They have clothes hanging outside their house, sometimes underwears. You know what people always say, when you put a bunch of guys together you know what they can get up to. Apparently these group of China men don't wash their clothes well so it stinks badly. Like sweat for dunno how many days. And the worst thing is, every morning, this few days we having morning east wind, so when the wind blow (da feng chui, chui she me?) , chui a very NICE SMELL to our home. Imagine you are standing outside and about to go out, you feel wind coming, you quickly run back to ur house and stay clear for a while.


Therefore, can all of you understand my feelings now?

Love,
I'm clean, dun worry Sally