Monday, June 18, 2012

Doubts, Gratitude, Optimism (A lengthy post)

I have been planning to write this post for the longest time. But, each time when I was this close to clicking 'publish', I stopped. I was afraid that whatever happy things about to come true that I typed in this blog will end up being a empty wish of mine or that it will turn out to be bad. However, today I woke up reading the latest post of Xiaxue on The Secret and affirmations (you can read more about it from her blog), it made me even more determined to change my school of thought and practise gratitude.

To be exact, I have been living rather happy lately. Maybe not just happy but EXCITED, EXHILARATED AND EVERYDAY IN GOOD SPIRITS. It could be due to my three-month break where I have no worries and could travel to places that I have never been to in the company of my loved ones. Most importantly, I feel that I have been surrounded by many good news lately. In her post, Xiaxue mentioned about the law of attraction where you should always have positive energy and then more of such energy will come to you and naturally good things or things that you have been wishing for will automatically appear right in front of you. I always believe in optimism and what the book teaches is not foreign to me for I have a mother who taught us from young that we should not be pessimistic or all the benefactors in our lives will not appear. In fact, as I continued reading her post, I start to wonder if my mum is the author itself. HAHA


Let me give you some examples.
Since young, my mum has been telling us that we should be optimistic. Sometimes when my life was met with obstacles such as a bad cooperating teacher, heavy workload, major stress, nasty colleagues, she will tell me  that I shouldn't keep frowning and sighing. Instead, I should think of how I can face it and take things one at a time. In other words, she was asking me to be optimistic. Soon enough, the problems will be solved thanks to benefactors who turned up in my life and helped me along the way! 

And trust me, this is not a one-time experience! This thing happened so many times:
1) Secondary school when my best friend, Jolene helped me as I struggled with my work after my father's passing
2) Mr Poh who knew that I was stressed about my final year attachment and that I needed allowance and so arranged me to work in RH
3) Working in RH where I hoped that my boss will recognise my hard work and give me better salary and was willing to train me for higher position
4) Working in SJI alone without much assistance yet received praise from other teachers, principal, parents and an ex-student who still sends me emails to update me about his life
4) A CT from hell who turned out to be much nicer and really taught me a valuable lesson

I'm not trying to boast about how successful I am for I still have a long way to go but what I'm trying to prove is, those are times when I have been in my lowest points of my life and I practised what my mum taught me and conversely, these problems turned out to be a blessing in disguise and sooner or later, eventually disappeared! In fact, I gained  a lot from them!


Besides this, I remembered how my mum used to chide me for pulling a long face during those low periods. She said, "How to attract benefactors (GUI REN) if you keep on showing a black face. It's like the whole universe owes you like that." How true is that?! In Xiaxue's post, she mentioned that we should not pull a long face or be in a lousy mood for this will attract bad energy. The more you think of something, the more the thing will happen.

Like the time when I was working in RH and was grumbling to my mum about how she took such a big portion of my salary and then I was only left with a meagre amount to spend and it wasn't enough for me to save. Every month, I saw how my salary could only afford to tide me through the month but not sufficient for me to save or travel or make big purchase. She will scold me, "Money can be earned one. You every month complain about money woes and cry and cry. How to make big bucks. Like this huh, you won't earn a lot of money in future because even if the god of fortune wants to pay you a visit, he sees you crying and your long face, he will get frightened away!" Eventually, I stopped complaining about that matter and soon enough, I received a letter from MOE and the salary I got then was sufficient to give my mum allowance, spend on myself and SAVE! I can travel, I can buy things I like, I can eat.
HOW TRUE IS THAT?!

I wouldn't say the god of fortune visited me but I am sure that her teaching has made me a more open person. I changed my school of thought with regards to money. If money can be earned, then I shouldn't be worried about giving it to my mum or spending it for I can always earn them back.

Honestly, my mum can be a philosopher!

Still not convinced?

Last semester, I mentioned in my blog that I had to work in a group with a few people that I can't work along with. It was tough and I had felt lousy whenever we had to meet for project discussion. Our ways of working clashed and I confided in mum that I had a feeling that the project will not turn out great. She told me to be positive and take things one at a time. I did and even tried to change my friend's mentality and guess what? During our last meetings, everything turned out smoother and even though we didn't get a very good grade for our proj, it was still satisfactory.

Oh, and my mum has this weird mindset, she believes that the more you think about something, the more it will happen. For example, last semester during my exam period, the train always broke down in the morning. So on the day of my exam, I set off really early for I had the fear that the train will break down. See, I thought about the negative. So, as I was travelling in the train, I kept praying that the train will not break down and guess what again, the train broke down at Clementi station! And that was the only line that travelled to Boon Lay. I was lucky that I was taking the circle line at that time when my friend called me about it and I just kept praying that I will be able to grab a cab at Buona Vista. Indeed, I did and made it in time for my exam. I kept thinking about a bad thing and the train really broke down. Then when I hoped for something good, I managed to get a cab while another friend couldn't.

Our family has this habit of driving to Bukit Timah and Botanic Garden and admired the landed properties there. Then, sometimes, it got so frequent that I will ask mum why she won't get sick of seeing the same thing and wows each time. She will tell us, "It's free to see so why shouldn't we see more. Who knows, the more you see, maybe next time you get to live in this kind of house." So from then on, whenever we goes to those areas with a lot of landed properties, sis and I would say that we want to see more so living in them one day will come true. I hope this is really becoming true for me.

And recently I went on a cruise to KL and it was quite enjoyable. During the trip, I kept telling des how fun it would be if my family can join us next time and how much they will enjoy themselves. So after the trip, we called so many times to Starcruises, planning for another holiday using our points where we can bring my family along. There were so many obstacles along the way and we sort of give up. Then, I began wishing that the cruise trip will eventually work out and on the morning of our family photoshoot, des called to say that his parents can join us for the National Day weekend and they were intending to use their points to help us book more rooms for our family! So, the trip was finalised and during the weekend of National Day, our whole family together with des's will be on board Star Virgo to Redang, Malaysia! YAY!!!!!

So, my point for this post is that, I do not need The Secret for I already have a real one living with me and constantly reminds me to be grateful for what I have and stay positive. However, I think I have one more thing that I still need to practise and that is removing all doubts. Sometimes I lack determination. When I waited too long for something good to happen, I started to have doubts about whether I have been doing the right thing or wasted too much time thinking positive. Then, the thing I wish for will never happen.

Therefore, from now onwards, I am going to practise optimism and gratitude. Then, more good things will happen to me! Hopefully, you guys will start to!


I want to have more money to last me till I graduate.
I want to have more money to last me till I graduate.
I want to have more money to last me till I graduate.
I want to have more money to last me till I graduate.
I want to have more money to last me till I graduate.
I want to have more money to last me till I graduate.
I want to have more money to last me till I graduate.
I want to have more money to last me till I graduate.
I want to have more money to last me till I graduate.
I want to have more money to last me till I graduate.
:)


No comments: