I found my Po Po

Today is the last day of Qing Ming and I found 3 persons in the same columbarian. Yes, I feel very happy because I finally found my po po's (father's big mother) ashes and I finally pay respect to her.

My mother & I followed our uncles to this Christian Chapel & columbarium at Poh Huat Rd to pay respect to my great grand mother (my grandmother's mother). I shall not go into details, but the main point is we couldn't find my great grandmother's ashes at the first time. It was only until when I went to the second storey alone (yes, alone and it was all dark cos there was not one human being in that room and the lights were off) that I was teh first one to find my greatgrandmother pic among a whole lot of others. Funny and weird thing is, I have no impression of her. I saw her once an it was when i was realli young. Yet, I recognised her cos my Ah Ma and great grand mother showed some resemblance. That's not all.

The reason why I went out to the second storey alone was because my mum suddenly remembered that my po po's ashes were also rested at this same chapel. I know this is getting complicated but my father actually had 2 mothers and he was the eldest son of the mistress while the po po that i found today was my grandpa's big wife. So, my mum called my grandpa and asked for the exact place where po po was.

As my grandpa is really old and senile, he couldn't remember where it was so my mum asked my po po's son. According to what my uncle (which i dun noe him well) told my mum, he could only remember that it is at the furthest block (that means it is also Blk 4, same block as my great grand mother's) and the second level, room 8 and dunno what unit 008 la.

Then my mum asked me to go check out level 2 first, so I went la. When i went in there, the first thing I do is to fidn the switches to the lights. I tell you, though i know that there is nothing there, but having the whole room to urself and with so many pics looking at u rite, u suddenly feel a sense of erriness. I went straight looking for my great grand mother before looking for my po po's one. Cos i was waiting for my mum to come up. Without 5 min, i found my great grand mother and by then, my mum was there too so she told me to quick go find my po po. I went to room 8 and look for unit 8. But, that wasn't my po po.

I told my mum and she continued telling me to look for those with no 8 in their unit no. While she said this, she walk out of room 8 and went straight to my great grandmother's unit. I scanned thru all the pics, but to no avail. Finally just when i was about to give up and turned to call out to my mum, asking her to reconfirm the unit again, I turned back and RIGHT THERE in front of me, was my po po's pic.

I can't describe my feeling to u, cos i'm not good with description. But i can only say i feel tears in my eyes. Very drama u may say. My po po had passed away for 10 yrs now, and there was not once we visited her b4. NV! The most, we just pay respect in front of her photo at my grandpa's hse during CNY. That's all. But today, I finally found her, without effort. I callled out to my mum, she came in and she felt very happy and she kept stroking po po's pic and calling her name.

Although she is not my biological grandma, she was the po po that i remembered the most. The nicest of the two grandmas. The most likeable, virtuous, and motherly grandma I have ever had. She is the one that single-handedly brought up her children, always cook hakka yong tau foo for us when we went her house on the first day of CNY. I rmbered her as the grandma who always sat on those small stool while we sat on her sofa. She spoke hakka and a little bit of hokkien for my mum to understand her. Though i dun understand what she said most of the time, but i rmbered her as the old lady who always put the grandchildren's photos under the glass top of the coffee table. She did not care taht we were the mistress's grandchildren and she loved us like she loved her own grandchildren. And she always say i look pretty when i was young, now not sure la...hehe..

Today, I just feel very happy that I finally pay my respect to her. I was still telling my frens abt this grandma that i had yesterday and today, i found her ashes. It's the best feeling I have nv felt for a long time. The feeling of finally finding what u lost, satisfying and touched.

My mum told me that, it is the fate between me and my po po that makes me able to find her. MAybe it's true...


Sally